Thursday, August 10, 2006

After work, I decided to embark on an adventure to every foodie's Garden of Earthly Delights: the grocery store.

Of course, it was all good fun. I poked at the produce and tried to find some Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Beans which, alas, were nowhere to be found. I found a new brand of Pringles--spicy!--and a can of Vienna Sausages spiked with essence of jalapeƱo. (As long as I can try new spicy junk food, I'm a happy girl.)

Here was the best part of the entire trip: the Giant Pickle of Doom.

Our local grocery store has one of those awesome vats where you can fish out your own pickle for 99 cents. I, being a devout follower of the Cult of the (Dill) Pickle, love this vat. The pickles are huge, sour, and utterly delicious. So, it was an awesome surprise to find a pickle today that surpassed my own high expectations.


Only vaguely pornographic.

Oh, yes. This pickle was amazing. As soon as I laid eyes on it, I knew it was worth my $1.05, tax included.

I'm ammending this photo with a girlish giggle.

For a reference in size--especially since I have tiny hands--here is the pickle sitting beside a normal-sized, albeit overripe, banana. I'm telling you, this pickle was a doozy.

For the sake of science, I measured the pickle with my trusty measuring tape. The final result: the pickle is six inches, with a 7-inch circumference. That's as big around as my wrist!

Of course, that begs to question: how did the Giant Pickle taste? Well, my friends, it tasted of Heaven soaked in a splash of mild vinegar, with a tart yet buttery aftertaste. The first bite, oddly enough, had such a buttery taste that I felt like I was eating a German cucumber salad made from Salata dressing. The further down I got, the more the tartness came through. The seeds inside the pickle were huge and slippery--as I swallowed, I could feel them sliding down the back of my throat. I'm still eating it now, and the buttery taste is starting to return as I near the bottom tip. The skin is surprisingly soft; biting through it feels like nibbling a steamed carrot--firm yet yielding. I'm still in shock as to how little sourness the pickle has! I can hardly taste the vinegar.

Oh, Bi-Lo, thank you for delivering unto me this Pickle. It's awesome.

1 comment:

schroeder.413 said...

your crazy